


Tumblr Love Thing [NEVER TBC]

by Nonchalant_Procrastinator, SeaMeMeow



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Online Dating, Baker! Levi, Eren the Yu-Gi-Oh dork, Love, M/M, Non-Binary Hange Zoë, TLT, Thing - Freeform, Tumblr, meet online, never look at this, riren - Freeform, this only remains here so we can cringe and cry softly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-07
Updated: 2014-10-18
Packaged: 2018-02-20 05:20:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2416385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nonchalant_Procrastinator/pseuds/Nonchalant_Procrastinator, https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeaMeMeow/pseuds/SeaMeMeow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tumblr ruins and helps lives.</p><p>[Pfffft. Don't read this until 'ON HOLD' disappears. Which is a possible never. So. Ya know. *shrugs*]<br/>[8.14.16 burn this]<br/>[12.30.16 erenxlevi is horrid lmao Eren is a child and there shouldn't be ships where one partner is underage *backflips away*]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. How to Ruin My Life

-Levi’s POV-

 

I don’t know when I decided that listening to Hanji was a great idea. Let’s be honest here, Hanji is a fucking lunatic that can never be trusted. And yet here I am, listening to them. I’m so brilliant, aren’t I? So here I am, sitting at my laptop slowly trying to come up with a username for this website that is known as, ‘Tumblr’. It tells me how many blogs have been made so far(which is, good lord, billions) and how fast and simple it is to create my own blog. Why was I doing this again?

Oh right. I just had to be ‘hip’ and ‘cool’ as Hanji would put it. I want to punch them in the face so much right now. Other than that...I think Hanji just wanted another follower to add to their fucking hundreds they already had. At least I had coffee. Good old caffeine, probably the love of my life since I was planning on spending the rest of my existence single and happy. I don’t want to give my everything to another warm skin sack of blood and bones. Fuck that shit. People don’t really like me anyways. Which is great because I don’t like people very much either.

In that moment I was holding my green mug full of liquid love and gently sipped before remembering the task at hand. Making my username.

I think this is one of the hardest tasks of using the internet. Besides remembering passwords at least. I set the cup down, my hands floating back onto the keyboard to type username ideas.

‘pokemonmaster’? Of course it’s taken.

So is ‘pokemon-master’. This is so productive.

I groaned, I just hate usernames.

Hmm. Other than Pokemon what do I like again? Well. Not people. Okay great start Levi.

I like...puns. And toilet humor. Yeah. How about…

‘toilethumorandshit’?

Yes. I approve of it. Pressing enter, I typed in my age. 23. Then proceeded onto trying to guess what the hell that weird spam check actually said, not knowing if that one character was ‘s’ or a ‘5’.

I successfully told Tumblr I was not a robot and was directed to go follow some blogs. Blah blah blah. I would have to find Hanji’s later, when I wasn’t so lazy to text them about what the name of their stupid blog was. Ugh. I still don’t understand why I’m going through with this. Which is honestly stupid because I thought I had figured myself out for the most part by now, so great job brain. Great job for knowing why you’re friends with a science freak like Hanji that tries to get you to act like someone who knows how social media actually fucking works.

After selecting 5 blogs I actually deemed to be interesting, I went back to my dashboard and scrolled down, eventually noticing little buttons on each ‘post’ and ‘reblogged’ a few pictures; some Pokemon and puns. I didn’t really understand the whole...’reblogging’ concept but whatever, I guess. This is what I get for trying to be hip.

I eventually ‘liked’ a few posts as well, watching the little heart turn red as it showed a small animation. Was it supposed to be cute or something? What was the purpose of that?

Tumblr then suggested I should customize my page, which meant adding a description.

And a profile photo.

I didn’t know what to use as a profile picture, so I skipped along, giving myself a description. Wow this is super fun. I probably sound boring as fuck.

I’d like to think Hanji was trying to look out for me or something, because they knew I was someone who was probably a major geek but didn’t seem like it because not only did I look like fucking death 24/7 but the idea that a short, angry man like me could be interested in such things as Pokemon or cosplaying wasn’t too appealing to the imagination. At least online people can’t tell how short I am. Or angry for that matter.

 

 

 

I left out my last name, though kept the initial. Maybe I’ll get rid of it later. For now I could tolerate it. Am I honestly a ‘cool dude’ though? I feel like I should put ‘badass’ but I’m afraid I’ll just end up making a fool of myself for that. Maybe I already am. I saved the description and scrolled along the rest of the customization bar, not understanding half of the things it wanted me to customize. So I scrolled back up to the top and looked over my work again.

I didn’t bother to change the picture in the end. I was honestly tired of having to do so much online and logged out of the account, remembering to write down my password on a spare sheet of paper lying out on my desk so I didn’t have to bother changing the password when I tried to log in again and ultimately forget that one as well.

I exited the browser and shutdown the laptop, closing the lid once it finally turned off. I finished off my liquid love and carried the mug back to the kitchen from my bedroom, placing it in the sink for me to take care of in the morning before I had to head to work.

I yawned, and stretched a bit, letting my limbs reach for the ceiling before they relaxed against my sides again. I turned the kitchen light off while I walked out, heading back to my bedroom which held a bathroom and brushed my teeth before finally stripping out of my gross clothes I had been wearing all day and putting on a fresh pair of boxers and a simple gray T-shirt to fall asleep in.

I turned off the bathroom light as well before quietly closing the door behind me. I also turned off the bedroom light before I decided to retire for the night. I sat on the bed and switched the bedside lamp on and picked up the book that was laying on my end table. I sat against my headboard, reading for maybe an hour or so.

I traded my book for my cellphone from the end table, checking the time on the screen.

11:17 PM

I yawned again, this time shutting my eyes and covering my mouth. Time for bed. I turned off the lamp and finally crawled under the covers, inviting the warmth of the blankets to comfort me into slumber. It took maybe 20 minutes for me to finally fall asleep, gently lulled by the sound of the outside world moving without me beyond my window and my heart rate slowing in my chest. I dreamt of a dull and silent world, something that mirrored my heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow these losers' Tumblrs!!!  
> Levi: http://toilethumorandshit.tumblr.com/  
> Eren: http://basementdweller96.tumblr.com/
> 
> Leave them asks or fanmail, they will happily reply (..well...maybe not Levi. But you know him.) Please refrain from mentioning the SNK/AOT canon universe to them, thank you for reading! :)


	2. #rants

-Eren’s POV-

I’m so done with this shit job! You would think that working at a grocery store wouldn’t be so hard, right? Wrong. I’ve got to deal with Jean fucking Kirstein all day and can’t punch his shitty horseface in ‘cause he’s a “valuable customer”. Fuck the rules. Except… well… I need this job so… I kind of have to follow the rules. Especially if I want to go to college next year.

You see, I’m 18 and graduated from high school, but I wanted to save up some money before I actually went since my family isn’t the richest (not that we’re insanely poor or anything). Sure, my dad could help pay for Mikasa, my adopted sister, and I to go and probably my best friend Armin, too. But I don’t want his money.

Anyways! Back to the current problem. I’m stocking the shelves right now and I swear to God that if Jean doesn’t shut the fuck up I’m gonna shove these canned peaches so far down his throat that they’ll have to perform surgery to get it out. I forcefully shoved the cans on the shelf and attempted to line them up but gave up. Jesus fuck! How can someone be so immature? Imitating me? Again, Jean?

I slammed the last can down and turned to glare at Jean but found that he disappeared, and instead I was looking at this poor little old lady who probably just wanted some peaches. I could feel my face heat up in embarrassment and mumbled an apology as I shuffled down the aisle. I checked my watch and walked briskly towards the back room for employees. Thank goodness my shift was finally over! I just want to eat dinner and relax! I took my vest off then tugged my jacket on as I waved bye to a co-worker.

I grabbed my backpack (Yes. I bring a backpack to work.) and took my keys out after shoving the vest in it and zipped it up. As I walked out the door I found the right key and crouched down at the bicycle stand just by the entrance. Yes. I’m 18 and I ride a bicycle everywhere. Fucking fight me. I unlocked it and put everything away before getting on and riding home.

About 10 minutes later I eased up the curb and glided into the open garage. Mikasa must have gotten home before me.

I dropped my bike in a clear spot and jabbed the button to close the garage. I opened the door to walk in the house and took a deep breath. Nothing like the smell of burnt- Wait. Burnt?! I groaned and shuffled through the house to find Mikasa staring at the oven. Fuck. I guess mom is out tonight. Fuck. Just fucking great. Guess I’m not eating tonight.

Mikasa turned to look at me and I just stared back with slumped shoulders and a tired expression. Simultaneously we nodded and she turned the stove off and grabbed her phone, pressing speed dial for Chinese take-out. I left the kitchen and descended to the basement where my room was. After flicking the light on, I kicked my shoes off, threw my shirt across the room, and ran towards my bed, jumping on it. Unfortunately, I miscalculated and ended up bashing my head into the wall.

“Fucking shit…” I rubbed my head and laid on my back for a few seconds then sat up and walked to my laptop and big, squishy armchair that I nicknamed The Life Ruiner. Why I decided to put the internet and a comfortable chair together, I do not know. But it ruins lives. Well, my life anyways. I plopped down on The Life Ruiner and rolled my laptop stand closer.

I turned it on and logged on, quickly opening the web browser which I customized to startup on Tumblr. Ah. Tumblr. Another life ruiner and a guilty pleasure of mine since Mikasa and Armin wouldn’t let me get an account ‘till after graduation. I don’t blame them. If I had an account during high school I would have never had gotten anything done!

I scrolled through my dash that’s mostly full of Yu-Gi-Oh (my favorite show) and some other stuff like Superwholock (a mindblowing combination). Reblog. Save as draft. Reblog. Reblog reblog. Hahahahaha! That was a funny post. I was about to click play on this random video but I heard Mikasa yelling at me from upstairs. Well shit. It’s almost been an hour since I got home. Oh Tumblr. Sighing, I moved the stand to the side and got up, stretching my body as I walked over to the stairs. I trudged up and let my nose lead the way to that delicious American Chinese food.

It didn’t take long for me to eat dinner so I threw my styrofoam container away and mumbled a quick ‘goodnight’ towards Mikasa. I walked downstairs and flicked the light off, then followed the wall for a couple of feet and felt around for the little switch. Once I found it I rolled the little dial switch thingy and all of my fairy lights flickered on.

Yes. Fairy lights. And again. Fucking fight me. They’re cool and you all know it. Plus, the local store was having a sale and my mom was in a decorating mood. Hey, win-win situation if you ask me.

No matter. I easily found my life ruining corner with The Life Ruiner and the life ruining computer with its life ruining internet that happens to host that life ruining site. Tumblr. Fucking Tumblr.

Why do I waste my time on here?

I woke my computer up.

Seriously. I can literally waste my life on Tumblr.

I refreshed my page.

Don’t get on the site. Go the fuck to sleep, Jaeger.

I started scrolling through my dash again.

Okay. One hour on Tumblr, max… Or how about 2. That’s just the length of a movie. Or we could go for the length of the newer Marvel movies, that’s closer to 3. You know what? Let’s just go with the length of The Lord of the Rings movies, yeah?

Needless to say. I went to bed really, really late. Or would you say early? I saw the sun start to rise if that says anything.

 


End file.
